Emotional Labour for the Patriarchy
Hot water bottle, crocheted cover, gift tags, safety pins, lead sinkers
This piece traps and holds examples of the unseen and often unacknowledged work that most woman in heterosexual partnerships. When women ask male partners to share this load, they can feel the need to ask in a way that avoids or anticipates their partner’s discomfort or resistance. This is called emotional labour. A 2019 study found that women in different-sex marriages reported the highest levels of psychological distress. Men in same-sex marriages reported the lowest.
In our patriarchal culture, men are accustomed to having their needs met and their beliefs upheld. As traditional household roles have changed, with women sharing the “bread winner” role, the unpaid share of work in the household done by women has not adjusted to the same degree.
The 2019 census data shows that women spend up to 14 hours per week in unpaid domestic work, whereas men spend less than five. Women also spend an additional hour each day looking after children. In same-sex relationships, the data shows children getting an extra hour of focused time with both their parents.
“Gutted to realise everything you pointed out is my “background noise””
Design
Many women associate a hand-made hot water bottle cover with emotional comfort and cosiness. Even in warm climates, the hot water bottle is a common aid for menstrual pain. The lightweight paper tags contrast with heavy lead sinkers as perfect symbols for the navigation of emotional territory between couples and the weight of the labour it represents. The safety pin also stands for the objective of the effort – to provide a source of emotional comfort.
Materials
This particular hot water bottle cover was one I made to see myself through two years of COVID. It is a little worn and pilled from use. The safety pins, paper tags, and sinkers are readily available retail items.